Lesson’s of Marital Romance Lesson 1

Today there are many relationships on the verge of divorce or separation. Why, because some people, whether it be your husband or wife, feels the relationship has run its course, has gone sour, or in most cases, it has become a strained relationship due to both spouses having to work to pay the bills in their household. I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help those who want out or have gotten to that point where they can’t take any more stress or heartache.

I have learned from past experiences in marriages that there are simple little things to keep the marriage alive, even in tough times. In this series of blog posts, I want to offer some advice or steps that you can do to make your relationship a little better or make couples become closer. Maybe this advice might even kindle that fire a little for both spouses. I wish every married couple could wake up next to their significant other and fall in love with them all over again. Can you see yourself remembering why you fell in love with that person? I know some marriages are joined because of money, but I find it hard to believe that most marriages are built around money. Whatever happened to courtship and dating? Don’t you want to fall in love for love?

I remember my first date with my current husband. He came over to my house and we sat watching movies and getting to know one another better. Which brings me to the first lesson of marital romance, communication. Can you say, com-mun-i-kay-shun? This is one of the biggest downfalls of marriages today. Yeah, I bet you thought it was cheating, right? No, it is the lack of communication that separates even the best of marriages. If you cannot talk with your spouse, or communicate, why did you even get married? You join together as one in holy matrimony but still act like there are two separate entities.

When you get together in marriage, the best part is talking to your spouse and finding out more about them. You should want to know what their hobbies are, their dreams and ambitions, or what they expect from you in return. I love my husband to death and would die for him because he knows everything about me. That first date, we shared our most intimate feelings and secrets. I told him of my traumatic past, every fine detail. I wanted him to know everything there was to know about me. I find it scary though that we have so many things in common. We just celebrated our third year anniversary back in October and do you know how we spent it? I made us a nice dinner and we laid in bed just talking. We make that a part of our everyday life, just talking.

You should want to talk to your spouse because then you would know where their mind is, how they are feeling, or even what their day is going to entail. Every day we talk to each other, and when our day is hectic, we still manage to stop what we are doing and say something to one another. This is how a good marriage is supposed to function. It is what keeps things interesting. Which brings me to the next piece of advice. Tell them you love them.

If you married your spouse because you fell in love with them, then reminding them every day that you love them intensifies the bond between you. They feel that you are still there with them. It reminds them of why you got married in the first place. I love my husband and we constantly throughout our day tell each other we love each other. If we didn’t, then there is a problem somewhere and we need to find it to fix it. Marriages are supposed to be happy and loving. Every day, no matter how we feel, saying “I love you” makes the day even better. Sometimes one of us will stop what we are doing just to tell the other how much we love them.

Love is a wonderful thing and I just wish every human on planet Earth would find that special someone or soul mate, just to be happy with life. Be happy with each other. Loneliness can destroy so many, but loving someone is the healing force to marriages. Tell that spouse every day that you love them. When you or your spouse are on your way out the door to work, stop and tell the other you love them. When you or your spouse come home, stop and tell them you love them. Keep reminding them. Make it a habit you can’t break and see how much better or stronger your marriage becomes. Three little words can make a difference in anyone’s marriage. Just do me one favor, don’t say it unless you really mean it.

A spouse can tell when those words have no meaning or are not heartfelt. A marriage is a living thing with a heartbeat that can die at any minute. Sometimes all the best life-saving measures can not resuscitate it or bring it back to life. Start at the beginning of your marriage telling your spouse how much you love them and keep doing it every day you are together. A marriage is a blessing and it should be treasured because so many will never have one.

The third lesson is to always tell your spouse to “have a good day”. I know it seems so simple but you would be amazed at how many people find it hard to say. It is called positive affirmation. It is basically a mind conditioning phrase that works wonders for a person. When you tell someone to have a good day, they, in turn, will believe they will have a good day and it raises their self-esteem. It also shows that you care how their day will go. My husband and I don’t work because we are disabled, but every day we tell each other to have a good day because it gives assurance of how our day will go.

Even if at the end of the day or part of the day we had a bad one, we still remember that our spouse told us to have a good day and it lightens the load a little. I thnk back to the beginning of the day when my husband told me to have a good day and it brightens my day back up. Always give your spouse positive affirmations to help them along the way. Show them how much they mean to you and that you wish them the best day ever.

So, if you are in a marriage or engaged to be married, please remember why you are getting married. Was or is it for love, or money? The wrong one can cause havoc and end pretty badly. I wish the best for all couples who are married or engaged and that they have a “good day”.

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Stepanie’s First Date

Stephanie was in her first year of college and has never been on a date in her life. She was so sheltered by her parents that she didn’t even know what guys were about. She was raised in an all-girl Catholic school so she was never in a mixed environment with guys. She was a casual girl who wore casual clothing on her feminine frame of a body. Her parents were so Catholic that her hair hasn’t been cut since birth, she had eyes that were like a doe, and never wore anything at knee-length. She was sort of conservative but there was always this curious side of her. She was more focused on school work than guys even though some of her girlfriends were against it.

Stephanie had plenty of girlfriends, some of which had been her friend since kindergarten. She wasn’t what you would call popular but she did have an assortment of friends. Some were those who like you because you had money, some were because of popularity status, and then she had real friends who didn’t care if she had money or where she came from. Those were her true friends that she could count on. Stephanie dealt with a battle every day around her popularity friends because they had no shame or morals and have lost their virginity already, some even more as sluts. She did not care for how they acted around guys and paid them no attention. She didn’t pick them, they picked her. It was always about social status with them.

Her money friends were no better than the popularity girls because all they did was flash it around and be snobbish. Stephanie is from money but she doesn’t flaunt it like all the rest. She has a savings account full of cash but she is a thrifty shopper always looking for deals. She was the one who liked to shop in thrift or bargain stores because they had good clothing also. It always made her friends so aggravated when they went shopping and she wasn’t interested in the clothing after looking at the price tags. Stephanie would pay on average about forty to fifty dollars on a whole weeks worth of outfits, so she couldn’t bring herself to spend forty dollars on a blouse that would hardly be worn. She only went to the mall with them to make them happy.

One day while at the mall, it was a Saturday I think, that Stephanie went with her friends. She walked around with them and while they were in a boutique shopping she would sit out in the seating area of the mall sipping on a diet soda. While she was sitting there, a very cute guy walked up and began talking to her. He seemed to be very nice and intelligent and then asked if he could sit down. Stephanie felt pretty comfortable talking to him so she said yes to him sitting down.

They sat there having a decent conversation while her friends were shopping in a nearby store. Everything was going great and Stephanie did all she could to not show how much of a true virgin she was. They kept the conversation pretty harmless and Stephanie was warming up a little to a guy she just met. They talked for a while before her girlfriends walked out of the boutique and saw her sitting with a guy. They immediately wanted to know who he was and did he have money. Stephanie left the comments alone and tried to end her conversation with the guy. When she got up and started to follow her friends he stopped her and told her his name was Zack and asked if she would consider going out with him. Stephanie started to blush but agreed. Zack smiled and asked for her address so he could come pick her up. She wrote it down on a scratch piece of paper from her purse and was still smiling when she handed it to him. He looked down at it and smiled back at her and said he would pick her up at seven o’clock and she nodded back smiling and blushing. Her friends saw the exchange of paper and wanted to know everything there was to know about the situation just because it would give them something to talk about, but Stephanie told them there was nothing to say and walked on.

When Stephanie got home she ran right upstairs to pick out an outfit for her date. After about thirty minutes she finally had her outfit which was more on the conservative side as to not give any mistaken signals. She laid her outfit across her bed and headed for the shower to get ready for her date. you could even hear her hum a little from inside the shower. When she stepped out it was all about powder, lotion, and a spritz of perfume to her bare body.

She wraps a huge towel around her and a smaller one for her hair and heads back to the bedroom. She gets inside her door right before her younger brother comes down the hallway. That was too close. She starts putting on her bra and panties before reaching for her outfit on the bed. She slips into her dress and puts on some nylons before slipping her feet into her flat dress shoes. She was a never a girl who admired high heels, she always bought low pumps or flat dress shoes. Most of the time she is in a pair of pink sneakers which goes along with her jeans and sweaters.

While she was spritzing some perfume on she heard the doorbell ring. Before anyone could get to the door she was down the stairs quickly and opening the front door. There stood Zack in a nice pair of slacks and a button down short sleeve dress shirt. She smiled when she saw him and noticed he was even wearing a pair of black dress shoes. She thought he looked very cute and respectful. He brought her a corsage to slide over her wrist before offering her his arm to escort her to his car. She felt kind of shy a little but soon warmed up and began a good conversation while riding in the car.

They soon arrived at the restaurant which wasn’t your average fast food place. Zack took her to a nice restaurant to impress her to which she was. Once parked, Zack got out and ran around to her side to open the door for her. She thought that he was such a nice guy. Her led her into the restaurant where they were seated and Zack offered to order for her which she was thrilled by. He ordered their food and sat staring at her and smiling. They talked about everything from where he went to school, what kind of job he had, and things about his family. He was quite the listener and answered all of Stephanie’s questions very politely. Stephanie was so pleased with how everything was going so far.

When their food arrived, Stephanie felt a bit awkward eating in front of a guy especially when she started to like him. The evening seemed to be perfect and she was definitely enjoying the conversation. She ate slowly and listened pretty much to every word that he spoke. Stephanie was becoming infatuated with Zack and began feeling comfortable around him. They spent the better of two hours having dinner and staring into each other’s eyes. Zack smiling and Stephanie blushing with every sentence he created. When they were finished he escorted her to the car opening the door for her and helping her inside. He closed the door and ran around to his side to get in.

They still had a good conversation on the drive back to Stephanie’s house, but before he took her home he said that he wanted to show her something which she agreed too. He drove for about twenty minutes before turning down a dark dirt road surrounded by trees. It was almost a spooky scene out of a movie but Stephanie didn’t seem to be worried because she felt safe with Zack. They drove down this dark road for about five minutes before the road came to an end at a clearing where they could see the lights from the city and all the stars shining so bright. The sky was so clear that you could actually see the layers of stars and most of the constellations.

Stephanie was taken by the picture of the night sky. Zack went around to her side of the car and helped her out of the car and led her to the front of the car where they would sit and admire the brilliance of the night sky. While sitting on the hood of Zack’s car Stephanie was admiring the view when she felt Zack’s arm surround her back and his hand rest on her shoulder. He pulled her slightly to him and she felt so good being in his arms. She looked at him and smiled when his free hand caressed the side of her face as he moved closer to her kissing her gently on the lips. Zack could feel her tense up as he pulled away. He asked her if she was alright and she told him she had never been kissed before. Zack smiled and apologized for kissing her when she stopped him and said she liked it.

They sat there staring at the night sky talking before Zack stated he should take her home because it was getting late. She agreed and he helped her off of the hood and escorted her back to the passenger side of the car. He closed her door and went to his side to get in and started the car. Zack drove her home and walked her to her door where he quietly asked if she would go out with him again sometime. She blushed and told him that she would love too. They leaned forward and kissed each other very slowly and gently before he left her at her door and walked back to his car turning around often to see her staring at him as he walked away.

She watched him get into his car and drive away before opening the door to go inside. She felt like a young school girl as she slowly and nonchalantly walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. She collapsed onto her bed kicking off her shoes and began rubbing her feet together as she thought about that kiss. Stephanie had never been kissed and found it to be so exciting that she looked forward to their next date.