Lesson’s of Marital Romance Lesson 1

Today there are many relationships on the verge of divorce or separation. Why, because some people, whether it be your husband or wife, feels the relationship has run its course, has gone sour, or in most cases, it has become a strained relationship due to both spouses having to work to pay the bills in their household. I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help those who want out or have gotten to that point where they can’t take any more stress or heartache.

I have learned from past experiences in marriages that there are simple little things to keep the marriage alive, even in tough times. In this series of blog posts, I want to offer some advice or steps that you can do to make your relationship a little better or make couples become closer. Maybe this advice might even kindle that fire a little for both spouses. I wish every married couple could wake up next to their significant other and fall in love with them all over again. Can you see yourself remembering why you fell in love with that person? I know some marriages are joined because of money, but I find it hard to believe that most marriages are built around money. Whatever happened to courtship and dating? Don’t you want to fall in love for love?

I remember my first date with my current husband. He came over to my house and we sat watching movies and getting to know one another better. Which brings me to the first lesson of marital romance, communication. Can you say, com-mun-i-kay-shun? This is one of the biggest downfalls of marriages today. Yeah, I bet you thought it was cheating, right? No, it is the lack of communication that separates even the best of marriages. If you cannot talk with your spouse, or communicate, why did you even get married? You join together as one in holy matrimony but still act like there are two separate entities.

When you get together in marriage, the best part is talking to your spouse and finding out more about them. You should want to know what their hobbies are, their dreams and ambitions, or what they expect from you in return. I love my husband to death and would die for him because he knows everything about me. That first date, we shared our most intimate feelings and secrets. I told him of my traumatic past, every fine detail. I wanted him to know everything there was to know about me. I find it scary though that we have so many things in common. We just celebrated our third year anniversary back in October and do you know how we spent it? I made us a nice dinner and we laid in bed just talking. We make that a part of our everyday life, just talking.

You should want to talk to your spouse because then you would know where their mind is, how they are feeling, or even what their day is going to entail. Every day we talk to each other, and when our day is hectic, we still manage to stop what we are doing and say something to one another. This is how a good marriage is supposed to function. It is what keeps things interesting. Which brings me to the next piece of advice. Tell them you love them.

If you married your spouse because you fell in love with them, then reminding them every day that you love them intensifies the bond between you. They feel that you are still there with them. It reminds them of why you got married in the first place. I love my husband and we constantly throughout our day tell each other we love each other. If we didn’t, then there is a problem somewhere and we need to find it to fix it. Marriages are supposed to be happy and loving. Every day, no matter how we feel, saying “I love you” makes the day even better. Sometimes one of us will stop what we are doing just to tell the other how much we love them.

Love is a wonderful thing and I just wish every human on planet Earth would find that special someone or soul mate, just to be happy with life. Be happy with each other. Loneliness can destroy so many, but loving someone is the healing force to marriages. Tell that spouse every day that you love them. When you or your spouse are on your way out the door to work, stop and tell the other you love them. When you or your spouse come home, stop and tell them you love them. Keep reminding them. Make it a habit you can’t break and see how much better or stronger your marriage becomes. Three little words can make a difference in anyone’s marriage. Just do me one favor, don’t say it unless you really mean it.

A spouse can tell when those words have no meaning or are not heartfelt. A marriage is a living thing with a heartbeat that can die at any minute. Sometimes all the best life-saving measures can not resuscitate it or bring it back to life. Start at the beginning of your marriage telling your spouse how much you love them and keep doing it every day you are together. A marriage is a blessing and it should be treasured because so many will never have one.

The third lesson is to always tell your spouse to “have a good day”. I know it seems so simple but you would be amazed at how many people find it hard to say. It is called positive affirmation. It is basically a mind conditioning phrase that works wonders for a person. When you tell someone to have a good day, they, in turn, will believe they will have a good day and it raises their self-esteem. It also shows that you care how their day will go. My husband and I don’t work because we are disabled, but every day we tell each other to have a good day because it gives assurance of how our day will go.

Even if at the end of the day or part of the day we had a bad one, we still remember that our spouse told us to have a good day and it lightens the load a little. I thnk back to the beginning of the day when my husband told me to have a good day and it brightens my day back up. Always give your spouse positive affirmations to help them along the way. Show them how much they mean to you and that you wish them the best day ever.

So, if you are in a marriage or engaged to be married, please remember why you are getting married. Was or is it for love, or money? The wrong one can cause havoc and end pretty badly. I wish the best for all couples who are married or engaged and that they have a “good day”.

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Stephanie’s Second Date

Monday rolled around and Stephanie had a full day of classes not to mention socializing with her friends. While she was taking a break in between classes her phone rang and it was Zack’s voice on the other end. She was very happy to hear from him and before he could say anything, Stephanie thanked him for their first date. Zack chuckled a little on the phone and said that it was wonderful for him too. He could tell how excited Stephanie was to hear from him by the tone of her voice.

Once she was done talking and Zack could get a word in, he asked her if she would like to go out with him again on Friday? Stephanie took a few minutes to think it over and excitedly said “yes”. Zack told her that he would be over to pick her up at about seven o’clock that evening and she agreed before hanging up. Stephanie was so excited that Zack called and asked her out again that she couldn’t wait to tell her friends.

After she finished all her classes for the day, Stephanie met up with her girlfriends and they headed off to a fast food place to eat and catch up on all the gossip. While they were hanging out chatting, Stephanie spoke up interrupting everyone to inform them that Zack had called her asking her out again. All of her friends stopped talking and their jaws dropped for a minute before trying to knock her good news into the ground. Some were making comments about him as if he had money or not while others were asking about his social status, but her true friends walked over and gave her a big hug congratulating her on the second date. She really needed the reassurance that her friends approved.

After the grueling hours of hanging out with girls who don’t appreciate her, Stephanie decided to go on home for the evening. When she went to say goodbye to the girls they were so caught up in themselves that Stephanie didn’t exist. She did stop to say goodbye to her true friends who actually were going to walk with her home. As the group walked away from the other girls no one even noticed they were leaving. So they made their escape.

The girls walked and talked and you could even hear a few giggles come out of the group. Stephanie really felt good being around this group of girls because they actually showed they cared about her. One of them actually asked Stephanie why she hung out with the money social status girls anyway. She tried to explain but it just sounded too confusing for anyone to comprehend but Stephanie did comment that she was getting pretty fed up with the other girls but she didn’t know how to tell them. One of her friends walking told Stephanie that she should just say something like “hey I don’t want to hang out with you guys anymore” and walk away. Stephanie and the others just broke out laughing.

They finally arrived at Stephanie’s house and she invited them inside which they all agreed that they still had homework to complete for the next day of classes. They all hugged and said their goodbye’s before walking away from the house. Stephanie went inside and headed for the kitchen to check in with her parents to let them know she was home. After saying hello and grabbing an apple Stephanie headed back upstairs to relax for the evening and getting her homework done.

Several days went by and Stephanie received a gift at her door. It was a dozen red roses with a card which only read “For You”. She already knew who they were from and she hugged them tightly smiling as she walked back inside the door. She leaned up against the back of the door smelling her roses and thinking of Zack. He made her feel really special and she liked the attention. She ran upstairs and placed her roses in a vase on her desk and went into the bathroom to get some water for them. Now with them placed on her desk she can admire them while doing her homework in the evenings.

The next day, which was Friday, Zack called Stephanie on her phone in between classes to remind her of their date that night. Stephanie was ecstatic about her date and told him she would be ready. She hung up the phone and kind of danced her way to her next class. It seemed like forever until her classes were over for the day and Stephanie was all ready for the weekend ahead. After her date with Zack, she was spending some time during the weekend with her true friends. They were going to hang out and have a sleep over at Stephanie’s house Saturday night. There are plans to talk about guys during this sleepover and Stephanie needs all the advice she can get. She had already pledged that her seeing a guy was not going to change her life or who she was like most girls. She would remain the same no matter what.

Well as it got closer to her date, Stephanie got more excited to the point of not thinking correctly. She ran around trying to figure out what to wear before jumping into a hot bath. She plugged her curling iron in and grabbed her towel and started the water. She even put some perfume salts into the water to make her skin soft and smell good. Once the water was ready, Stephanie took off her clothing and stepped into a very hot bath where she laid back and slid down until the water was at the base of her neck. There she relaxed and had good thoughts of her date with Zack.

Once she was done soaking in her hot bath, she released the plug to drain the bath water, stood up grabbing her towel and wrapped it around her body. She walked quickly back to her bedroom closing the door behind her. She put on lotion, powder, and perfume before getting dressed and then went back to the bathroom to dry and throw some curls in her hair. Stephanie had just got done getting ready when the doorbell rang. She went downstairs and opened the door to a surprisingly handsome Zack standing there smiling.

He greeted her with a smile and a small bouquet of flowers. He handed them to her and she smelled them smiling. She thanked Zack for the flowers and he put out his arm to hers and escorted her to the car. Zack opened the door, helped her inside, and then went around to his side to get in. He asked Stephanie if there was any place in particular that she would like to go and she told him it was his choice. With that in mind, he informed Stephanie that a carnival was in town and he would very much like to take her there. She agreed with a big smile and off they went.

They arrived at the local carnival and he quickly got out of the car and ran around to her side to open the door and assist her in getting out. They walked to the entrance with her arm in his and Stephanie was amazed by all the pretty lights and sounds of the carnival. She had never been to a carnival before being that she was sheltered. He escorted her around and they took in some sights before getting on some of the rides. She was having an amazing time and he loved seeing her happy. As the night progressed, Zack noticed that Stephanie had a chill and took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders before placing his arm around her to keep her warm.

They enjoyed the evening and had so much fun together, but it was getting late and Zack didn’t want to get Stephanie home too late. He escorted her back to the car opening her door and after she was inside, he handed her the stuffed bear he won for her at one of the game tables. He closed her door and went around to his side to get in. He drove her back home and they parked in her driveway where they sat and chatted about the evening for a bit. Stephanie thanked Zack for another wonderful evening and he smiled at her telling her she was welcome and he enjoyed himself too.

After sitting quietly for a few minutes, Zack leaned over and kissed Stephanie again sending her into a seriously blushing moment. She melted right into his arms as he reached out and held her close to him. That was another kiss that Stephanie would have to think about and write in her diary. it felt so good to her that they kissed several times before coming up for air. After they stopped kissing, Zack held her for a little while keeping her warm before she had to go inside. When it was time, Zack got out and went around to her side opening her door and escorting her to the front porch. There they shared one more kiss before Stephanie left him standing on the front porch holding his jacket.

Once she was inside, Zack went back to his car shutting her door and climbing back inside to drive home. Stephanie was in her own little world at this point. She has had her second date, a kiss that felt like the first, a bouquet of roses, and a heart that was melting. She felt really good and only wishes that it will continue. She went back upstairs, changed into her pajamas, and climbed into her sheets where she would write her deepest secrets in her diary before falling asleep with more wonderful dreams of Zack.