Today there are many relationships on the verge of divorce or separation. Why, because some people, whether it be your husband or wife, feels the relationship has run its course, has gone sour, or in most cases, it has become a strained relationship due to both spouses having to work to pay the bills in their household. I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help those who want out or have gotten to that point where they can’t take any more stress or heartache.
I have learned from past experiences in marriages that there are simple little things to keep the marriage alive, even in tough times. In this series of blog posts, I want to offer some advice or steps that you can do to make your relationship a little better or make couples become closer. Maybe this advice might even kindle that fire a little for both spouses. I wish every married couple could wake up next to their significant other and fall in love with them all over again. Can you see yourself remembering why you fell in love with that person? I know some marriages are joined because of money, but I find it hard to believe that most marriages are built around money. Whatever happened to courtship and dating? Don’t you want to fall in love for love?
I remember my first date with my current husband. He came over to my house and we sat watching movies and getting to know one another better. Which brings me to the first lesson of marital romance, communication. Can you say, com-mun-i-kay-shun? This is one of the biggest downfalls of marriages today. Yeah, I bet you thought it was cheating, right? No, it is the lack of communication that separates even the best of marriages. If you cannot talk with your spouse, or communicate, why did you even get married? You join together as one in holy matrimony but still act like there are two separate entities.
When you get together in marriage, the best part is talking to your spouse and finding out more about them. You should want to know what their hobbies are, their dreams and ambitions, or what they expect from you in return. I love my husband to death and would die for him because he knows everything about me. That first date, we shared our most intimate feelings and secrets. I told him of my traumatic past, every fine detail. I wanted him to know everything there was to know about me. I find it scary though that we have so many things in common. We just celebrated our third year anniversary back in October and do you know how we spent it? I made us a nice dinner and we laid in bed just talking. We make that a part of our everyday life, just talking.
You should want to talk to your spouse because then you would know where their mind is, how they are feeling, or even what their day is going to entail. Every day we talk to each other, and when our day is hectic, we still manage to stop what we are doing and say something to one another. This is how a good marriage is supposed to function. It is what keeps things interesting. Which brings me to the next piece of advice. Tell them you love them.
If you married your spouse because you fell in love with them, then reminding them every day that you love them intensifies the bond between you. They feel that you are still there with them. It reminds them of why you got married in the first place. I love my husband and we constantly throughout our day tell each other we love each other. If we didn’t, then there is a problem somewhere and we need to find it to fix it. Marriages are supposed to be happy and loving. Every day, no matter how we feel, saying “I love you” makes the day even better. Sometimes one of us will stop what we are doing just to tell the other how much we love them.
Love is a wonderful thing and I just wish every human on planet Earth would find that special someone or soul mate, just to be happy with life. Be happy with each other. Loneliness can destroy so many, but loving someone is the healing force to marriages. Tell that spouse every day that you love them. When you or your spouse are on your way out the door to work, stop and tell the other you love them. When you or your spouse come home, stop and tell them you love them. Keep reminding them. Make it a habit you can’t break and see how much better or stronger your marriage becomes. Three little words can make a difference in anyone’s marriage. Just do me one favor, don’t say it unless you really mean it.
A spouse can tell when those words have no meaning or are not heartfelt. A marriage is a living thing with a heartbeat that can die at any minute. Sometimes all the best life-saving measures can not resuscitate it or bring it back to life. Start at the beginning of your marriage telling your spouse how much you love them and keep doing it every day you are together. A marriage is a blessing and it should be treasured because so many will never have one.
The third lesson is to always tell your spouse to “have a good day”. I know it seems so simple but you would be amazed at how many people find it hard to say. It is called positive affirmation. It is basically a mind conditioning phrase that works wonders for a person. When you tell someone to have a good day, they, in turn, will believe they will have a good day and it raises their self-esteem. It also shows that you care how their day will go. My husband and I don’t work because we are disabled, but every day we tell each other to have a good day because it gives assurance of how our day will go.
Even if at the end of the day or part of the day we had a bad one, we still remember that our spouse told us to have a good day and it lightens the load a little. I thnk back to the beginning of the day when my husband told me to have a good day and it brightens my day back up. Always give your spouse positive affirmations to help them along the way. Show them how much they mean to you and that you wish them the best day ever.
So, if you are in a marriage or engaged to be married, please remember why you are getting married. Was or is it for love, or money? The wrong one can cause havoc and end pretty badly. I wish the best for all couples who are married or engaged and that they have a “good day”.