Lesson’s of Marital Romance Part 4

In this lesson what are searching for what can make any marriage or relationship a good one. I hope you have learned from the previous lesson’s which are based on my experiences. The things we are going to talk about are dinners, romantic evenings, date nights, walks, and weekend getaways. These are all a part of a happy relationship.

Starting with dinners, they don’t have to be extravagant, and you don’t have to run out to the grocery store and buy lobster or shrimp. Any good meal can be cooked with what you have in the pantry and refrigerator. All you have to do is cook from your heart. Believe me, your significant other can tell whether you have put your love and heart into your cooking. After preparing the meal and making the table look enticing, you sit down with your partner and you enjoy your dinner. The conversation should be kept pleasant and do not, I repeat, do not talk about work, finances, or anything of the like. Yes, you can ask them how their day went but don’t go into details.

The conversation should revolve around the two of you and not just be one-sided. Tell each other how much you love them, or how good the food tastes. Always discuss things with your partner. Stare into each other’s eyes and remember why you fell in love with them. The dinner can only help intensify the relationship.

The next thing is to plan for romantic dinners. This will strengthen your relationship by showing the other partner how much you love and appreciate them. Make their favorite meal, candles, dim the lights, and have some nice romantic music playing. This will most always put your partner into a sensual mood. Spend the evening holding hands at the table and looking into each other’s eyes and always make eye contact when speaking or listening. That is a basic gesture of respect. Some of you can possibly get away with feeding your partner. Just a few servings will do. You don’t want it to seem like you have to force feed them.

Now that you have gotten past the dinners, how about having a date night. We all loved them when we were younger. Make a plan to go out somewhere with just the two of you. If you have kids, see if one of the grandparents will take the kids for a few hours so that you can reconnect with your significant other. Go out and have some fun, it doesn’t have to be dinner at a restaurant or anything, go to a carnival, go see a movie.

The whole point of date night is to reconnect with your loved one. Do some of the thigs you did when you first dated. Share all your interests in common. Remember to always compromise on the things that you are going to do that night. Never seem overbearing and controlling. Let your partner feel they are part of the decision as well. There are so many things to do and sharing your interest with each other will bring you closer too.

Another awesome thing to do with each other is how about taking a walk together. You can walk around the block, down by a river, lake, or pond, through a museum, there are endless possibilities. Conversations with each other while walking together can be so enlightening. Just keep work and finances out of the conversation. You fell in love with your partner because they had qualities you liked and admired. You can share positive things about work, like promotions and such, but never talk about negative things.

It doesn’t cost anything to go for a walk, and it shouldn’t cost anything to spend time with your loved one. So don’t make it about money. Talk about what each is into or their hobbies. Reconnect with them on a personal level.

Lastly, in this lesson, we want to talk about having a weekend getaway. Take the weekend off and go spend a couple of days with just each other. Maybe you want to stay cuddled up in bed the whole time or if you are close to a beach or river take a walk together. Just spending time alone together is a fascinating way to grow closer. Getting away from the stress at home, the kids, and sometimes the in-laws can make for a better relationship. My husband and I like to lay in bed and watch movies while it is raining or snowing outside.

Sometimes we lay in bed at night or in the morning and we talk. We talk about what we are going to do that day, how we feel, and sometimes we tell each other how much we love one another. So those weekend getaways can be something you could cherish and it gives you a new sense of meaning to each other. So, plan a weekend getaway once a month or every other month, but take time for yourselves without all of the drama and stress of everyday life. Until next time, keep those home fires burning and the love alive in your relationship.

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Lesson’s of Marital Romance Part 3

Hello everyone and thank you for joining me on our journey of marital romance. First, I would like to apologize for not posting these last few days due to the sudden attack of the flu. I am back now and would like to continue our journey. I do hope that my lessons and posts have been insightful and helpful. Okay let’s get started with part three of our lesson’s shall we?

Everyone in any type of relationship loves to be acknowledged in one form or another. One form that I love is when I find little notes from my husband. He doesn’t have to leave or be gone from the house to still leave me little notes. They don’t even have to say much. Sometimes it could just be “I love you” and that simple form brings a smile to my face every time. You could even be the little note maker for your significant loved one. It doesn’t take much to make someone else feel good or brighten their day.

Wouldn’t you love to find a little note from your loved one telling you to “have a good day”, “thank you”, or even a “thinking of you”? It is the little things that we should cherish the most. It also shows that person that you appreciate them, think about them, and to some, it is a positive affirmation of how much they are loved or thought about. My husband and I constantly leave little notes to each other. We both have computers with messengers on them in the same room and while I sit at mine working, he will send me a quick little message telling me how much he loves me. It’s funny how one little message can brighten the day of another person. So, try it. Leave that person in your life a little note and see what kind of a reaction you get or how they respond to it.

The next thing is texting that person. With technology rising with new creative ideas every day, send a text to that person just saying “hi”, or “how is your day going?” and let them know you miss them or are just thinking about them. I know all of this should have been covered in communication, but to me, this is a whole other aspect of it. While you’re at work and taking that fifteen-minute break, text your loved one and tell them how much you are missing them. It doesn’t take much to do even with a sandwich in your other hand. Multitask people.

Texting someone at home while you’re away can make for a nice homecoming after a hard stressful day at work. I know it sounds so cliche but everyone needs some positive affirmation in their life no matter how bad or good it is. People think we need money, technology, or fancy things to be happy, but I am here to tell you that I live in a two room tent with my husband and two and three-quarter dogs on disability, and we still leave each other positive affirmations and little notes. We are still happy even being homeless. It is those simple little things that make a whole big difference in someone else’s life.

The third part of this lesson is even simpler. It is called making a phone call. One of the oldest ways of communication can be uplifting to someone’s spirit. Call that person just to say “hi”, see how they are doing? It is not that you are checking up on them or accusing them of something, it is just a caring reminder that “hey, someone is thinking of me today” and it feels so wonderful. Every time my husband and I are away from each we call each other about every two hours or so just to see how the other is doing or feeling.

It is so calming to hear my husband’s voice on the phone telling me that he was thinking of me, or that he loves me. It can make a relationship stronger and be appealing to each other. It draws the two fo you closer and builds an invisible barrier around you that no one can break.

Allow that person to know and feel how much you love or care about them. You appreciate or respect them enough to send them little notes, text messages, or even a phone call to see if they are okay or need anything. My husband and I both suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and these little affirmations make a very big difference in our lives. I encourage you to try it with that special someone in your life. Make a big difference in their life which will cause a domino effect and the world would be a better place. 🙂

Thank you for being here today and I want to wish everyone a great day and remember that there is someone out here who does care and appreciate you.

Lesson’s of Marital Romance Part 2

Today, we are going to talk about another three things to keep your marriage or relationship a happy one. Now in the last lesson, we talked about communication, saying “I love you”, and asking your significant other “how was your day”. The next three things we are going to talk about are separation, commitment and vows, and appreciation.

These things are not hard to do and can make any relationship a good one. When I speak of separation, I am not talking about ending the relationship in any manner. Every relationship should have a period of separation to function correctly and make it a happier one. Each partner needs some space just for themselves. I have found with my own experiences that when each individual takes a break away from the other, it makes each one more appreciative of the other person. They have that saying “you don’t know what you had until it’s gone”. That is entirely true. When you are away from that special person in your life, you tend to want that person even more. You find it difficult to not think of the other person. You can also realize how much you need and desire that person.

I miss the hell out of my husband when he is away from me, even for a short period, but it is the fact that when we are apart I appreciate him just that much more.All couples need that space from one another. Take some time and do things without the other. Go for a walk, do some shopping, go hang out with some friends. When you do, you find that you think of that person. You wonder what they are doing, who they are talking too, and one of the most important thoughts is are they missing or thinking about you. So give it a try, take a few hours away from each other, then when you get back together you have things to talk about while you were apart and you become closer to that individual.

The next thing to talk about is your commitment or vows that you made with that person. I have found that a lot of people lose track of the vows they recited to each other the day they got married. If you didn’t want to be committed to that person, why did you get married in the first place? Commitment means being only with that person and forsaking all other’s. Giving your life to that person. I would die for my husband because he is always there when I need him despite some of the petty little disagreements we have with each other.

If you commit yourself to that person because you love them, then it shouldn’t even be a question as to who you would choose in a decision. I choose my husband because he will always have my back and he is very supportive. Remember your vows that you made to that person and own up to them. Make that person dear to you and don’t be selfish and put you first. It is always better to think of others before yourself because you will never know the day you will need them.

Commitment is alway about choosing to be with that person. You take them with the good and the bad. That is where communication would fall into play. Should the two of you have a disagreement, talk it out with yelling or attitudes being thrown around. Not every marriage or relationship is perfect and should be seen that way. Every person will make mistakes because they are just that, human. I can understand if the mistake they made was a huge one where they defaulted on their vows or commitment to you to be with another. Even God forgives the largest of mistakes if they are repentant and asking for forgiveness.

The next and last thing I would like to advise is being appreciative of your significant other. No matter if you have been married or together for three days or thirty years, you should always show the other person just how much you appreciate them. Voice your appreciation or send them little notes stating it. Being selfish or greedy will alway cause turmoil in a relationship so being appreciative of your significant other will make for a better relationship because they will feel good and be happy with you.

I appreciate my husband every day and I tell him this either verbally or by showing it. It is the little things that can make a person feel like they are special. He might cook for me one night and that is his way of showing how much he appreciates me. I woke up one day and he had gotten into my computer and posted a note on my desktop, which I have not erased yet, telling me how much he loves and appreciates me even when he doesn’t show it. He tells me thank you for all the times I was there for him and just that little note goes a long way. It makes me feel like I am wanted or appreciated.

I stand by all my advice because I live it every day. We have been married for three years now and we are still on our honeymoon even with the little disagreements we still love and cherish each other. We take the time to tell or show the other person how important they are in our life and how much they are loved and appreciated. Try it sometime to show how much you appreciate your spouse or significant other. It will make them and yourself feel really good and it will make your relationship that much stronger. Leave me a comment on how it helped your relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lesson’s of Marital Romance Lesson 1

Today there are many relationships on the verge of divorce or separation. Why, because some people, whether it be your husband or wife, feels the relationship has run its course, has gone sour, or in most cases, it has become a strained relationship due to both spouses having to work to pay the bills in their household. I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help those who want out or have gotten to that point where they can’t take any more stress or heartache.

I have learned from past experiences in marriages that there are simple little things to keep the marriage alive, even in tough times. In this series of blog posts, I want to offer some advice or steps that you can do to make your relationship a little better or make couples become closer. Maybe this advice might even kindle that fire a little for both spouses. I wish every married couple could wake up next to their significant other and fall in love with them all over again. Can you see yourself remembering why you fell in love with that person? I know some marriages are joined because of money, but I find it hard to believe that most marriages are built around money. Whatever happened to courtship and dating? Don’t you want to fall in love for love?

I remember my first date with my current husband. He came over to my house and we sat watching movies and getting to know one another better. Which brings me to the first lesson of marital romance, communication. Can you say, com-mun-i-kay-shun? This is one of the biggest downfalls of marriages today. Yeah, I bet you thought it was cheating, right? No, it is the lack of communication that separates even the best of marriages. If you cannot talk with your spouse, or communicate, why did you even get married? You join together as one in holy matrimony but still act like there are two separate entities.

When you get together in marriage, the best part is talking to your spouse and finding out more about them. You should want to know what their hobbies are, their dreams and ambitions, or what they expect from you in return. I love my husband to death and would die for him because he knows everything about me. That first date, we shared our most intimate feelings and secrets. I told him of my traumatic past, every fine detail. I wanted him to know everything there was to know about me. I find it scary though that we have so many things in common. We just celebrated our third year anniversary back in October and do you know how we spent it? I made us a nice dinner and we laid in bed just talking. We make that a part of our everyday life, just talking.

You should want to talk to your spouse because then you would know where their mind is, how they are feeling, or even what their day is going to entail. Every day we talk to each other, and when our day is hectic, we still manage to stop what we are doing and say something to one another. This is how a good marriage is supposed to function. It is what keeps things interesting. Which brings me to the next piece of advice. Tell them you love them.

If you married your spouse because you fell in love with them, then reminding them every day that you love them intensifies the bond between you. They feel that you are still there with them. It reminds them of why you got married in the first place. I love my husband and we constantly throughout our day tell each other we love each other. If we didn’t, then there is a problem somewhere and we need to find it to fix it. Marriages are supposed to be happy and loving. Every day, no matter how we feel, saying “I love you” makes the day even better. Sometimes one of us will stop what we are doing just to tell the other how much we love them.

Love is a wonderful thing and I just wish every human on planet Earth would find that special someone or soul mate, just to be happy with life. Be happy with each other. Loneliness can destroy so many, but loving someone is the healing force to marriages. Tell that spouse every day that you love them. When you or your spouse are on your way out the door to work, stop and tell the other you love them. When you or your spouse come home, stop and tell them you love them. Keep reminding them. Make it a habit you can’t break and see how much better or stronger your marriage becomes. Three little words can make a difference in anyone’s marriage. Just do me one favor, don’t say it unless you really mean it.

A spouse can tell when those words have no meaning or are not heartfelt. A marriage is a living thing with a heartbeat that can die at any minute. Sometimes all the best life-saving measures can not resuscitate it or bring it back to life. Start at the beginning of your marriage telling your spouse how much you love them and keep doing it every day you are together. A marriage is a blessing and it should be treasured because so many will never have one.

The third lesson is to always tell your spouse to “have a good day”. I know it seems so simple but you would be amazed at how many people find it hard to say. It is called positive affirmation. It is basically a mind conditioning phrase that works wonders for a person. When you tell someone to have a good day, they, in turn, will believe they will have a good day and it raises their self-esteem. It also shows that you care how their day will go. My husband and I don’t work because we are disabled, but every day we tell each other to have a good day because it gives assurance of how our day will go.

Even if at the end of the day or part of the day we had a bad one, we still remember that our spouse told us to have a good day and it lightens the load a little. I thnk back to the beginning of the day when my husband told me to have a good day and it brightens my day back up. Always give your spouse positive affirmations to help them along the way. Show them how much they mean to you and that you wish them the best day ever.

So, if you are in a marriage or engaged to be married, please remember why you are getting married. Was or is it for love, or money? The wrong one can cause havoc and end pretty badly. I wish the best for all couples who are married or engaged and that they have a “good day”.